i moved

here, temporarily

appliances have gone berserk

Lately, I've been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders and within my chest. Not for any particular reason, but I seem to be gravitating towards angst-driven, pessimistic worldviews. An excerpt from a friend's blog, Expensive Waste:

On Nirvana's Bleach album, Kurt Cobain sings of school sans recess. "Won't you believe it, it's just my luck," Kurt recites in repetition (reoccurring, but rejecting redundancy), conveying the message of being fucked over by circumstances outside of his own control. A constant process of so-called learning devoid of any breaks. Enter the father of existentialism, Søren Kierkegaard.

Kierkegaard (1813-1855) posits that we are constantly and consistently in the condition of angst, which is that nagging feeling that makes you feel like shit due to your responsibilities in relation to your own principles and the expectations of others. Angst is more than something superficially conveyed through My Chemical Romance tunes. It's something that affects our beings and choices whether or not we're aware of it. We have x amount of time to do y amount of z, and then we die. As it was with old video games like Ms. Pac-Man or Space Invaders, the object of the game is to get as high a score as is attainable until the inevitable GAME OVER. Furthermore, you're out of quarters. Yes, Dear Reader, the end is indeed imminent. Why are you wasting this irreplaceable time reading this paragraph when you could be wasting this irreplaceable time looking at pornography? You're already online; you should fucking do it. Better yet, why not spend time with those who mean more than two shits to you?

To be honest, I've never read Kierkegaard, but this idea does resonate with how I've been feeling. Attempting to maximally enjoy each and every day can only combat the overwhelming and inescapable loss of youth. This may come as common sense to most people, but personally, I feel it a bit more difficult with the nagging reminder of inevitable fate. "Meaning of life" style question were not the intended purpose of my blog post today, so I will move away from it, but it might set a proper tone prior to reading the following discourse.


Along the theme of feeling overwhelmed and incapacitated, the flood of information that stacks itself upon my inbox, RSS feeds, Twitter flow, Facebook friend feed, and websites is staggering. Aside from not even having an ideal way to store and organize all the information, its all too much. Up to this point in my life, I've lived under the premise of acquiring all that I can, of always being connected. I regularly spend several minutes each day before the day begins attempting to not get behind on what has been published since I went to sleep or was away from a computer. Again, I know I'm not a pioneer on this subject, but this is a reflection of my own personal feelings. None of my computing devices purported to make my life simpler or get more done have really achieved that, in one sense, they have, because it is true that I'm much more capable of always being connected, but on the other, and much truer hand, the advances that these devices enable only create new opportunities for distraction from information that may not always be relevant to associate with on a 24 hour timetable.



My recent trip to San Francisco further influenced these thoughts. I think the sole determining factor was McSweeney's issue #33, in which they decided to make this quarterly edition in the form of a newspaper. To briefly summarize their intentions of why this published in this format, it was to investigate the good aspects of large-format paper printing. With all the closures of newspapers on a national scale, they thought it would be interesting to create a newspaper that reminded individuals of why newspapers were originally the world's key source of new information, before the advent of the Internet. The final product McSweeney's published is beautiful and staggering, I entirely wish this medium were available for purchase on a daily basis.

One of the flaws with reading the newspaper on the internet is that it feels like reading a typical web page, whereas reading it on paper, in large-format, enables the reader to take in all the descriptors, explanations, and photographs at the same time. Up to this point, newspapers have only relegated the stories to the Internet without really capturing the full potential of publishing on the web. I think one of the key aspects of reading a newspaper with quality journalism, is that your interest is captivated while you hold the newspaper, and move from story to story seamlessly; although the interest may not have been something that your attention immediately, you can't help but read because you are already sitting with the paper in front of you, and perhaps something else interests you about the article. On the web, you're given one story to read per page, with links to other articles, along with a slew of ads and graphics that encroach on the area meant for reading. Furthermore, I'm much less likely to click a link to read a story I'm unfamiliar with in the minuscule span of time that headline has to draw my attention. All in all, reading newspapers online is great for a story that grabs my interest initially, but the enjoyment factor is severely mitigated by an entirely non-conventional, impersonal format.

The monumental release of the iPad stirred more questions within. Although I was hardly convinced of it as an essential device, the technology is interesting and caused more questions to rise up. As a person who enjoys reading, will the iPad (or Kindle, etc.) make reading more enjoyable and accessible? Is this another device that will really revolutionize the way I intake information, or will it lead to similar feelings of being overwhelmed? Practicality is one of the key issues, and I would sincerely like to read in a way that is efficient and enjoyable. I'm not sure the iPad is capable of being the end-all answer to reading. There is something to be said about reading in all formats, and certain advantages and disadvantages of all formats. The iPad was sometimes lauded as an end-all, be-all device of multimedia synthesis, and while it might be for some, I doubt it will be for all. Of course, being able to peruse articles while watching videos and pictures in an integrated way is exciting, but I'll remain skeptic until I can test the technology on my own at my own pace. For now, I think its best to stick to the strength of what the various outlets offer: web pages for articles and video, newspapers for journalism, and books for reading.

Another piece of insight was recently expunged from the “Shift Age” episode of Berkeley Groks, the science podcast I subscribe to. David Houle was the guest on the show, who is a strategist and futurist, and author of the website evolutionshift.com. During the episode he talked about three factors that are contributing to a shift in the way humanity is going about its business, and these factors combine to create a new way of looking at the world is the present day and the direction it is heading. The three factors Mr. Houle mentions are:
1. The shift from nation-states to a global scale.
2. The flow to the individual, the amount of connectedness and mobility an individual is able to ascertain.
3. Accelerating electronic connectedness.

These forces have all been acting for the past few decades, but he believes the technology is culminating and coming to a head that will serve to connect the smallest unit of population, an individual, with the world on a global scale to an extent that has yet to be tested. It’s interesting to listen to the rest of the podcast, because he goes on to talk about the ramifications for society (like future energy issues), and what individuals can do to anticipate and shift their perspectives for the impending changes to be brought about by the future.

Although this post is disjointed without the focus of a truly unified theme, I feel the ideas are at least somewhat loosely connected. Personally, these tidal waves of information perpetuate the system of keeping up with the Jones’, and just when you think you’ve developed a system that works, along comes another invention that will supposedly enhance and ease your life like never before. There is no doubt this gimmick has been perpetuated throughout our society, but I’m slowly and surely becoming more aware of it; and hopefully more resistant to it.

I also started reading “You Are Not A Gadget,” by Jaron Lanier, and hope to learn more about why the Web was created as it is, while gaining insight to the future.

I love ripping off artist's song titles and lyrics and catering them to my own specific need.

Divided!

Definitely a simple but unavoidable observation. Before, under the Bush presidency, there would be certain individuals from my news feed who would make posts declaring the errors of the policy making. Now, it seems with Obama, there is another, completely new group of individuals exclaiming the errors with policy. Personally, I'm more politically declined and apathetic, so I prefer to take a hands-off approach and observe from the outside; although I wouldn't mind sharing ideas over a pint or two, but I can't think of a more boring place to do it than at the solitary confinement of my desk. Note: this is in no way intended to be an insult to individuals who enjoy writing about political thoughts and issues, because the majority of the time I enjoy reading these ideas, particularly of people I know and associate with. What makes these posts interesting is when an idea is brought up and explained, with rationales for agreement or derision. So often, "half-ideas" I feel get posted that lack direction and it really doesn't serve to bring up any new or interesting viewpoints but rather only serve to advance one's ideological close-mindedness.

80s Cartoon

YouTube is featuring 80s cartoons right now, and I watched a bit of He-Man. Not only is that best name for a hero, but I also love his Aryan-esque appearance, with the long blond hair and iron-cross emblazoned chest. And Skeletor is probably one of the coolest looking bad guys I've ever seen.

Stella!

I downloaded the Hulu Desktop for Mac application and now I can watch shows whenever the hell I want, even though you could do the same thing before, just as easily. After watching the series premier of "Michael and Michael Have Issues" last night, I'm motivated to watch the entire series of Stella, which is on Hulu. Hopefully this show doesn't get cancelled after a season or two which always seems to happen with good shows.

Chef BoyorTom

Hey! I love cooking. It's like a science lab experiment every time you do it. Tonight I made coq au vin and it turned out pretty OK. Actually I wasn't too disappointed. That could be due to the fact that my expectations were extremely low, but considering everything came out on nearly on time, the chicken wasn't undercooked, and I went the extra mile to make asparagus and bacon as a topping to the chicken, I'm pretty content with the result. The only complaint Greg had was that his dad wouldn't have overcooked the chicken. That brings up two points: a) I'm not a dad yet (at least to my knowledge), and therefore I should not be expected to cook chicken as a dad would, and b) That the chicken wasn't too overcooked in my opinion, although a little dry, I'm much more satisfied knowing I'm eating tender chicken rather than contracting Salmonella. Without a doubt that is a blatant cop out and excuse, but cooking is something I hope to get better at with time, so suck it.

Office 2010

To compete with Google, Microsoft is releasing their Office software on the web. Do I care? Not really, but in the future probably most software will be accessed via online servers it seems. Anyway, I only made this post because I wanted to share this advertisement for it. Apparantly it was made by some creative individual with a large budget. Needless to say, a vast improvement over the "Don't buy a Mac because they're too cool" ads.

NYC!

I wanted to say a big belated thank you to my homies Matt J, Anthony C, and Alex M for letting me come sleep on their couch (and floor) while I kicked it in the city for awhile. They were tremendous hosts and really showed me the side of the city from a dweller's perspective!

Moleskin or Blogger

I like writing in my moleskin, I think it's a worthwhile endeavor to keep track of one's thoughts, interests, and observations over time. This is not an observation that has come about as the result of any private versus public journal debate, but rather as a compromise between my innate desire of privacy and curiosity for discussing issues that pertain to me and those I interact with. Jotting down ideas in my journal allows me the opportunity to be perfectly candid without the perhaps arrogant and self-important concerns of thinking my problems are different from anyone else's; though they are different, they're problems nonetheless, and would much rather talk about them with a cold pint in front of me rather than on the faceless internet which might distract from interaction rather than foster and encourage it. Either way, I do like blogging and journaling, but I think more often than not, I choose to spend time writing in the moleskin simply due to the fact that there is also something unique and valuable in having a record of one's thoughts that are completely original and not shared with anyone but the creator. I'd go even a step further and say that it's entirely possible that having the confidence of knowing the thoughts are not going to be shared perhaps make them a bit more authentic than if they were written in a medium that was destined to be shared with others. Hmm I just had another thought: I was going to end this with some sort of conclusion, but then I realized another great point of a journal is being able to rant at random without having to follow typical guidelines of formal writing, thus making a conclusion non-essential. And yet I seem to have found a suitable conclusion for an obscure topic written in the midst of opacity.

roadtrip

i really would like to get outta town on a road trip. i don't really care where i go. just some place i've never seen before. like montana or des moines or kentucky.

employment

Shabooyah

Netflix on xbox 360 in the fall...i was going to increase my movie subscriptions, now i guess i don't have to.

my aquarium kicks so much ass

It took awhile for the symbiotic bacteria to colonize, but it appears as though the nitrification cycle is underway and no longer will high ammonia levels cause physiologic stress to my fishes. I lost three red platy in the process of getting this tank underway: Poquito, Pequeno, and Picante; RIP. Mad propz to all my roomates for putting up with the putrid scent and opaque, cloudy, feces-filled water. If this continues to be a successful venture maybe I can start a larger salt water aquarium and get some real badasses to swim around.

*You can't tell, but currently in the aquarium are two small algae eater fish, and one small shark kinda like this guy.

The Pearl

Just finished this novella by Steinbeck. A great quick read, there is a substantial amount of story packed into so few pages. What shall I read next? B Hurst I'm looking your direction: hopefully you'll see this before your foray into the tropical/arid pandemonium that is Kenya. If not I'll look at iRead on Facebook. The Brothers Karamazov has been sitting unread on my bookshelf for epochs, although it'd be a massive undertaking, maybe I should give it a go.

Not been drinking

Ok so the last post was mildly spurred by alcohol, but I'm not
changing anything, including the resultant grammatical errors that are
innately predisposed by anyone attempting to type on an iPhone. Now
I'm watching my little shark in my aquarium do loop d loops at 130 on
the morning for no other reason than to contract my muscles of
mastication, forcing a recalcitrant smile to creep upon my lips
despite my brow's best efforts to rectify any emotion but indolent
pain birthed from a night of shameless intoxication. I'm making
spaghetti o''s and maybe watching baseball tonight. I hope to see
anyone who reads this blog sooner than later.

It ain't so bad

Love stinks. But it wouldn't be so bad to have it. Whatever I'm not
complaining I just listen to lush depressive lovesick rock. I wonder how
Much a liver can tolerate? I've heard it said from
Some very educated scientists and/or health professions that if you
could kiss any organ before you went to sleep at night that your liver
should probably be considered first.

Internet Radio

iphone + pandora music app + stereo aux input = free internet radio. Why am I so addicted to the trance station? Maybe the trance station has me hypnotized and I'm therefore compelled to listen to it more frequently.

Success!

It did! Now how do I add pics from the phone? Maybe i have to upload
them directly from the website. Blogger needs their own iPhone
application.
Sent from my iPhone

Test

Did it work???

Sent from my iPhone